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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26602999">One to Ten</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingspires/pseuds/dreamingspires'>dreamingspires</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Size Difference</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:00:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,431</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26602999</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingspires/pseuds/dreamingspires</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey has been working through some difficult experiences in her past and has finally taken control of her love life. Tonight she's meeting someone who's going to help her with 'The List'.  </p>
<p>Her carefully laid plans go awry when Ben Solo, her aloof flatmate, interferes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Finn/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>131</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Rey takes control</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben opened the door to find Rey sitting alone at the small dining table, glass of red wine in one hand, single tissue in the other, blue glow from her laptop lighting her face. He hadn't expected to see anyone in his home - the flight to Dallas was cancelled at the last minute, and he'd presumed when he returned home that his two roommates, Finn and Rey, would be already celebrating the start of the weekend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But here she was, and from the startled look she gave him, Rey hadn't read his text with the change of plans.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Heavens above you scared my," she sniffed, "I thought I was going to be alone..." She didn't sound too happy about the turn of events.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yep, last minute cold feet from the CEO of the company we were due to buy. Meeting postponed until she's had a chance to 'further consider our offer'" Ben explained.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He'd been planning to spend the next three days with his team in Dallas, prepping their due diligence before the presentations on Tuesday. The buyer getting cold feet was a known risk of acquisitions - and the company he worked for specialized in fast and efficient purchases - so a last minute change of heart wasn't unheard of. Frustrating never the less.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So here I am."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Right. Right." Rey mumbled, staring intently at the computer in front of her. She looked less than pleased at the news.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben was surprised - Rey was very independent, and seemed to use their shared apartment more as a place to sleep than hang. He wasn't sure what she spent her time doing, but it definitely wasn't sitting at home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She abruptly jumped up from the couch, snapped her laptop shut and made her way to her small room at the back of the flat. A few minutes later, Ben could hear the banging of the pipes in their converted apartment which must mean she was taking a shower.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben loosened his tie and opened the fridge to figure out a quick meal before he hit the gym. French omelette with ham and gruyere and some sliced tomatoes would do the trick. The prep was quick, but he had to hover over the stove to keep stirring the eggs and gently shaking the pan.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There were a couple of pieces of paper next to the coffee maker that caught his eye as he stood there waiting for the egg to set perfectly. The font was enormous so the title jumped off the page.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MUST DO SEX LIST</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben laughed out loud at the title. Something that Finn, their other roommate, must have written for a joke. He kept reading.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>1. HAVE SOMEONE SEE ME COMPLETELY NAKED, EVERY PART OF ME, AND LET THEM LOOK, AND I WILL ENJOY IT.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Followed by:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>2. HAVE SOMEONE TOUCH ME COMPLETELY NAKED, EVERY PART OF ME, AND I WILL ENJOY IT.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It wasn't much of an erotic list so far and he wasn't sure it was a joke either. Seemed very sincere and specific.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>3. HAVE SOMEONE GIVE ME AN ORGASM, AND I WILL ENJOY IT.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>4. TOUCH A MAN, AND GIVE HIM AN ORGASM WITH MY MOUTH. LET HIM COME IN MY MOUTH AND I WILL ENJOY IT.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This was getting intense. And he wasn't sure it was a list from Finn anymore, or if so, it would be quite the shock to his girlfriend Rose.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>5. HAVE SEX. FULLY NAKED, BOTH OF US. LET HIM COME INSIDE ME BUT NOT BEFORE I'VE COME, AND I WILL ENJOY IT.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was another piece of paper underneath, and it looked like the list continued. Having finished the first page, Ben was sure that whoever wrote it hadn't meant him to read it. And however much his curiosity burned, his conscious wouldn't allow him to flip the paper over and continue.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The door at the end of the hallway opened, and Rey emerged, her brown hair dripping from the shower, and seemingly dressed to go out. She wasn't in her usual sweat pants and t shirt which were her habitual apartment wear, and was unusually dressed in tight tan trousers that finished mid calf, and a tailored white shirt. Ben glanced at her face, and she was even wearing a hint of make-up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She gave him an odd smile, and walked towards the coffee maker, before coming to a shuddering halt as she glanced at the list and back at him standing a foot away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.." she said under her breath with increasing hysteria, before putting her face in her hands. Ben could see the creeping blush that had bloomed on her face through her fingers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Please tell me you didn't...." she said, still looking away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben was silent.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Of course you did. It's right there. And why would anyone respect my..... Fuck."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She took a shuddering breath and lowered her hands down before speaking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Maz says that my biggest problem is avoidance and for this weekend I've promised myself that I'm going to look life in the eye. So you read the list. I didn't mean for anyone to see it but me and...." She stopped talking again and took another deep breath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's my sex list. For this weekend. And I don't want to hear anything about it. Or for you to judge me. It's my list." She babbled, but said the last bit emphatically.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben flipped the omelette onto the waiting plate and replied slowly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yes, your list. Not my business." and grabbing a knife and fork sat at their wide kitchen bar and began to eat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey abruptly left, walking quickly back to her room. He heard the sound of the hairdryer start up and sat in silence trying to process everything.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey was a friend of Finn's, and frankly he only had room mates because it was convenient when he travelled so much to have the flat and his cat Palp (a strange gift from his mother after graduation) taken care-of. She kept to herself, rarely joining him and Finn when they grabbed a drink. She did something smart with engineering tech at MIT, and some kind of martial art, if her frequent appearance in white robes or workout gear was an indicator. Other than that, Rey was a bit of a blank.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her door opened again, and she stomped back into the room, her face set into a frown. He noticed she'd changed again, out of her trousers and in to a denim skirt that skimmed just above her knees. He tried not to notice, but she had incredible legs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I don't want to talk about this. But I also don't want you around. I know it's your flat, and I know this is totally unreasonable but could you leave? I have this plan, and you and Finn were supposed to be away. And I need privacy... so..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Yep. No big deal. I'll make myself scarce and come back later tonight."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She stood in silence for a moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Thanks, but I was hoping you could leave for the whole weekend..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was surprised at that. Their rooms were at opposite ends of a large apartment so whatever sex-fest she had planned on that paper, she'd have all the privacy she needed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That damn list. Now he had read it, it was a worm in his brain. What the hell kind of list was that anyway? If it was a 'Sex List' for your weekend hook-up he imaged it would contain something a bit more... well... sexy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Although it was sexy on reflection. He'd never even though of it before, but stripping Rey naked and taking hours to look over every inch of her was hot. Never mind the rest of it. What was no. 4 again?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm not going to get in the way of your... whatever... I'll keep myself to myself and you and your boyfriend can do the same."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She tipped her head as she considered this. It was a habit he'd never really noticed before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Not my boyfriend exactly. Anyway, I've been planning this for a long time and you being here will ruin it. So, again, I know I have no right to ask, but I would be indebted to you forever if you could just make yourself scarce. I'll even pay for a hotel."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why don't you go to the hotel? Seems a better spot for your...whatever...?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Because I don't want to be murdered, and I figured I'd be safer in my own place." She was exasperated now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why would your boyfriend murder you in a hotel?" Ben couldn't let the lack of logic go.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Not my boyfriend as I said. Never met him before and we're supposed to meet in the bar in twenty minutes, so at this rate I may never meet him anyway. Will you leave?" She grabbed her purse off the side and began flipping through the notes to try and pull together a small bunch of $20s.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ok. I see this is important to you. I can go." He couldn't believe he'd agreed to this stupid plan, but something about the raw pleading in her voice was persuading him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"This guy though, that you're meeting, for The List" he saw the blush appear again across her cheeks. "Are you sure this is going to be safe? There are a lot of weirdos out there, and this kind of thing might attract them."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm going to be fine. If he tries anything, I'm a black belt in Bojutsu."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben believed it. She was small but had that wiry frame of someone who means business. And she was a grown woman, able to make her own decision. Even so, his conscience was shouting in his head that he just couldn't stand by and let her meet some potential sociopath all on her own.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Alright. I'll leave. On one condition. You let me come to this bar, I'll keep out of the way, and just make sure everything is ok. If it is, you can come back here ...for whatever... and I'll make myself scarce until Sunday night. Deal?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could tell that his suggestion was infuriating her. After a minute of consideration though she shrugged her shoulders and grabbed her coat by the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Deal'</p>
<p> </p>
<p>..........................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fuck. Fuck. Fuckety Fuck. Why would the universe send Ben Solo back to his apartment this weekend? Why? And why would he then read her private list? She might have left it out, but couldn't he have just NOT READ IT?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey instinctively sped up her walking in annoyance, and Ben easily kept pace beside her. Of course he did. He was a fucking giant and some kind of rowing god who could probably sprint his way around Boston without breaking a sweat. Now, worst of all, he was walking with her to O'Rileys to check-out the man that she had spent the last 3 months finding on line. The one guy she had come across who didn't seem either like a crazy pervert, or an axe murderer, or worst of all, someone like her ex boyfriend Hux who, she was convinced, had helped give her the worlds-worst sex complex. The one guy she'd had enough confidence to share that List with and who had signed up for this weekend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She swore under her breath again, and Ben looked over at her to give her a reassuring smile. The lights of O'Rileys were shining green fifty feet ahead of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"When we get near the bar, you go in first and I'll wait a minute and then find a table at the back. You won't know I'm there."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey nodded and pulled her coat a bit more tightly around herself. Maz would give her a severe talking to if she chickened out now. They had come up with this plan together. Maz was the Sensei at her dojo and they had become very close over the last three years. If Rey had known her mother, she would have wanted her to be like Maz - loving and fearless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had taken a year or so of friendship for Rey to feel she could tell Maz her life story, and another year for her to share the specifics of the relationship with her ex, Hux. Her sensei had been kind and fierce at the same time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You need to take control. You're a smart woman and have the rest of your life figured out. So, just approach this the same way. Get help, move forward."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Another few months spent talking, embarrassingly, through the options and further two months finding a dutch sex therapist called 'Luuk' who she felt enough trust with to move forward only to fall at the last hurdle - apparently she needed a minimum of fifteen sessions, and at an eye-watering $500 a session - to complete the course. $7500 Rey didn't have.</p>
<p>Maz had offered to help with a loan, but running a small dojo in Boston didn't pay well, and neither of them was in a position to take on more debt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finally Rey had decided to seek out someone on-line. Lots of wasted time filtering out the weirdos and sadists and she'd finally met 'Enric' which she presumed wasn't his real name. He seemed ok. Genuinely nice, interested in her, older which hopefully meant he had all the experience she was looking for. Not hot exactly, but from the small photo he'd sent over, he looked kind enough. Biggest pro was that he was prepared to dedicate one weekend to doing anything and everything she asked on her increasingly dirty 10 point list. She'd only shared 1 - 5 just in case she chickened out at the mid way point but he'd said he was eager to help. And Maz was going to come to O'Riley's to meet him with Rey, until she'd broken her foot that morning sparing too aggressively. Maz had begged her to reschedule but Rey couldn't bear it, not after all the planning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So here she was. About to walk into the bar to meet him. The only fly in the ointment was the hulking shape of Ben Solo a few feet behind her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fuck. Fuckety Fuck. Fuck.</p>
<p>....................................................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben watched her walk in, waiting as agreed out on the sidewalk until he could see her through the window grab a stool at the counter. He hesitated another few seconds before walking into the crowded bar and grabbing a seat towards the back of the large room. He had a clear view of Rey, her long legs propped on the bar stool. There was an older man sitting next to her and they were already in conversation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben hated the look of him on sight. Older, late forties maybe or early fifties, with floppy hair and a very nicely tailored suit. When the waitress arrived he order a straight whiskey and sat back watching the two of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They were talking, mostly the man, and Rey barely lifted her head to look him in the eye. Ben could sense her embarrassment from across the room. Her date didn't seem to mind, and was slowly inching his way closer to her until he was almost pressed against her side, one hand sitting on top of hers, the other snaking round to rest on her hip.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jesus Christ. It took ever ounce of his self-control to sit there and watch this creep putting his hands on his room mate. Ben thought back to The List, and those simple, sweetly erotic things she wanted from a lover and then imagined her doing it with this guy. Hell No.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He watched as Rey stood up and started pushing through the crown towards the ladies room. Ben took his chance to get a closer look, walking over to the bar and pushing into the gap left by her to order a drink. Close up, her date looked even older, definitely fifties.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Having a good Friday night?" he asked him casually.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Looking that way."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Was that your daughter at the bar?" Ben couldn't resist - he wanted to provoke a response</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The man turned to look at him more closely and Ben could already feel some anger under his smooth surface.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No, and she's not available either. She'll be tied up this weekend in every sense of the word."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Definitely an asshole. But not enough to make him a danger to Rey.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bartender leaned over. "She's hot. You've hit the jackpot man."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben sucked in his breath quietly. Another asshole.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Haven't I just? In about twenty minutes I've going to be fucking her within an inch of her life."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bartender raised his eyebrows and lent forward for more. Rey's date continued.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yep. Total nut job. She looking for someone to fuck her all weekend though, so I guess one thing cancels out the other." Rey's date continued, raised his glass.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At that moment, Rey appeared at Ben's left shoulder and stood waiting for him to move from her seat. Her cheeks were flushed pink with anger and he could see her hands were trembling slightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Welcome back darling" the asshole leaned over and put his hand on her ass as she tried to slide back onto her chair.  It made Ben want to shove him aside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Everything ok here?" Rey asked, not meeting Ben's eyes and picking up her drink from the bar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben wrestled with his conscience for another few seconds, thinking about the trade-off between Rey's anger, and protecting her from the total douche bag, and eventually said "No. Definitely not."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At that her date stood up  and snarled "It's none of your fucking business what we're doing." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He barely reached Ben's shoulder, and was half his size, and Ben watched him consider his options.  He rarely had anyone take him on, and he was grateful once again to be the biggest guy in any room - he was one hundred percent sure that Rey would not forgive him if a fight broke out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As they faced off, Rey stood up too. She was breathing heavily, trying to keep calm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ben, please leave. You've no right to get involved in this. I need you to keep to our agreement."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Our agreement was I would check your date out and I have. This guy here is an ASSHOLE and whatever your list says, I guarantee he's going to ignore it and just fuck you any which way he pleases."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her face had gone white but she drew herself up to her full height.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You have NO right to do this to me. This is my business, my life, my list and..." she stopped for a moment, her voice catching. "You aren't going to spoil this for me."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christ, this was a mess. Her date started to speak again, but Ben put one hand on his shoulder and pressed him back onto the stool, shutting him up immediately.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I know. It's not my life, or really my business. But I hope you know I'm your friend. And I also know with 100% certainty that this is not going to end well. So please, let me be your friend and take you home."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Enric, or whatever the asshole's name was, was trying to stand up again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm out of here." he said, grabbing his briefcase and pushing back from the bar, waiting for Ben to release his shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben looked again at Rey's angry face and let him go, watching him leave without a backwards glance.</p>
<p>...................................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey's carefully controlled anger exploded and throwing a twenty down on the counter, she used all her strength to shove Ben out of her way. He stumbled backwards and she pushed past him, walking swiftly to O'Riley's exit. As soon as the colder air of outside hit her lungs, she took a long, stuttering breath and tried to calm her shaking body. Breathe, just breathe, she told herself, and bent over a little in a poor imitation of the yoga pose she used for calm. It took a minute or two but finally she could feel her racing heart start to slow and the urge to fight or flight recede.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This night had gone from a nerve wracking adventure to absolute shit all thanks to Ben Solo walking through the door earlier. Rey could sense the tears starting to gather in her eyes however hard she tried to stop them and soon she could feel them dripping down her cheeks and on to the pavement below. Months of searching to find Enric had all gone up in smoke in an instant. Never mind that her own internal radar was also screaming 'beware' as soon as he had touched her without asking, Ben had no right to interfere in her painful, meticulously laid plans.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was now back at the beginning, exactly where she began this journey with Maz. No solution, no progression, just a crushing sense that until she could deal with all her messed up shit her love life would be stuck forever in first gear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She stiffened as she felt someone approach her. Of course it was Ben. He stood next to her at a respectful distance, holding out a god damn tissue as if that would fix anything. Rey ignored it, and began walking back to their apartment. Her bare legs were suddenly freezing in the chilling evening air, and she wrapped her coat a bit more tightly around herself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I know you are angry with me, and that's very fair. I overstepped the mark."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She ignored him. There was no way she was going to speak to him ever again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I've been thinking about it. I can't get Enric back, and honestly, I wouldn't even if I could..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey could feel her anger rising again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"But I can help in another way. About The List...."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Just shut up Ben. I don't want to speak to you." She gritted her teeth tightly together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hear me out. About The List. I'm not sure what's that's about, and I guess I don't need to know. Maybe you'll explain it to me one day. But if what you are looking for is someone to...."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Oh god.... just SHUT UP" Rey exclaimed, walking as fast as her heels would allow to try and put some more space between them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"If what you are looking for is someone to... do the list... then I can do the list for you...." He finished quickly, jogging slowly next to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That brought her to an amazed stop.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You think I want you to do..... Christ Ben. That is the last thing I would want from you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked puzzled for a moment, stopping in front of her so she couldn't walk past him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm confused. I gather that for some reason you've been looking for a guy to spend the weekend with - no strings attached - to do the stuff on the paper. And I ruined that. So if you were going to be ok to do that stuff with a stranger, why not with someone you know?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"For heavens sake Ben, that's the point. I know you, at least a little, so how could we do... The whole point is I need someone who isn't going to judge me, or look at me differently, or make fun of me. After this weekend, I was never going to see Enric again, once he fixed...."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey couldn't finish. The whole idea was absurd. Ben was the exact opposite of what she needed. He was - god, where to begin? Her roommate. One of Finn's best friends. Not her friend exactly - he was far too aloof and serious for that - but certainly an acquaintance. Just the look of him made her palms sweat - lean, tall, dark, strangely, overwhelmingly handsome, and she'd seen enough of him in rowing shorts to know that she'd never be able to take her clothes off in front of him without feeling inadequate. All of that list made this the worst idea ever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So, if I promise not to judge you, or look at you differently, or the other stuff? I don't understand why me, a friend who you can trust, isn't better than a creep off the internet." He persisted, turning to catch her up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Just no." Rey said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The walked in silence for another ten minutes as Rey thought over and over again about her options. Beginning again sounded like torture. She had worked up the whole of her body, mind, heart and spirit to get herself to a place where she could follow-through this weekend. To finally look her issues in the eye and maybe, just maybe, fix herself. Tears were flowing again as she walked, and she ran the options over and over in her mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Could she do this with Ben? Could she pretend he was just like a guy off a dating website and go through with the plan? What was the worst that could happen? They were barely friends now so if they never spoke again, what had she lost?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Perhaps it was worth a try.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Would you promise never to tell a soul? Not Finn, not anyone?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stopped again, surprised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Of course, it's between us and no one else."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And would you promise no judging and no questions?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yes. I just want to help you Rey."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They walked in silence again until they reached their apartment building, Rey endlessly reviewing her options.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>By the time they arrived home, her mind was made up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Alright. Let's do it."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Number One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as Ben had seen that bereft, desperate look on Rey's face, in such contrast to her normal expression of calm control, he knew he'd do anything to help her, to make that look go away. So here he was, in his own apartment, standing next to her with no clue what to do next.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fortunately Rey took control. She walked to her bedroom and swiftly returned, clutching a manilla folder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I thought since I had everything ready for.... Enric.... we could go through the same stuff?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Sure." Ben poured them both a small glass of the red wine from the bottle Rey had left open earlier, and took a seat at the table. What the hell was in that sheaf of papers?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Right. So here's my medical stuff - current clean bill of sexual health."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She slid a couple of papers across the table towards him - they were stamped all over with the word 'Negative'.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben smiled to himself. Why was he not surprised that his scientist room mate would have this all locked down?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was his turn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ok. I wasn't prepping for this obviously, but I did have a recent medical check and everything is in great order. No STIs or whatever. I can go grab the paperwork from my office?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No need. I know where you live." Rey's humor had at least returned a little. "But how about since that was done - what about all the other women since...?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben interrupted. "No sexual partners in the last eight months, well before this was done."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey tried to hide her surprise. She presumed a man that looked like Ben would have his fill of women.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Right. Great. I had a birth control injection a month ago, so that's all sorted."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They sat in silence for a few moments.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What next?" Ben asked. This evening was getting more and more surreal.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She took a large sip from her glass.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"If it's ok, I wanted to go through the stuff on the List and some ideas around that and then I guess we can get started."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sat back in his chair as she went to grab the papers that were still sitting on the counter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So, this is the list, these five you've read, plus the other five." She slid the top sheet towards him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I can't wait to see the other five." Ben smiled which seemed to throw Rey off, as her hand shook a little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I thought we could do these first and then see how things were set. I do have a few conditions though."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He leaned forward in his chair a little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"If we're going to do this, I want to get it right so let's hear them, and have a couple of conditions of my own too. What are yours?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey's expressive face looked shocked again, but she mastered it well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Right. So, I want you to do the List, and in order for this to work, I need to just be able to" she seemed to be struggling with the words "Surrender I guess. So, I need you to take the lead, and tell me exactly what to do, so I don't have to think about anything or worry about anything except, hopefully, feeling good. Can you do that?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben met her gaze and held it for what seemed like an eternity.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I can definitely do that."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And it would really help me if I didn't feel like you were judging me, or trying to figure me out. I don't really want to talk about stuff. Is that ok?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I definitely won't judge you. The no talking bit might be a bit tougher - I'm used to speaking to the women I go to bed with."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey looked a little miffed, but ploughed ahead. "What are your conditions?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Not much. In between the sex-fest, I want to take you out, maybe for a meal or something, or go for a run in the park. Get to know you a little more."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now she looked shocked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why on earth would you want to do that?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Because I want to. No judging me now." he countered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"All right. I guess so. Anything else?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And I want to know that you'd tell me if I do anything you don't like or don't want. Agreed?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Agreed."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So, are we all set?" They sat in silence for another minute, before Rey drained her glass and turned to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yes. I'm all yours."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>...................................................................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>1. HAVE SOMEONE SEE ME COMPLETELY NAKED, EVERY PART OF ME, AND LET THEM LOOK, AND I WILL ENJOY IT.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben took her by the hand and pulled gently until she was standing and not letting her hand drop, walked along the corridor to his bedroom at the back of the apartment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey tried not to let her nerves rise to the surface, and instead just submit to the experience. That's what she'd promised herself, not to overthink it and instead just enjoy the feeling of being with someone. That was the idea behind the list - to face her fears, and desires, at the same time. Let herself be open and to experience pleasure and acceptance. She no longer had the anonymity of a stranger, as Enric would have been, but surely the trade-off of having Ben Solo, who she was absolutely sure knew exactly what a woman might want in bed, was worth the temporary embarrassment?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They were quickly in his bedroom. Rey had never been inside the room before, and she briefly glanced around - exactly as she would have thought - minimalist but stylish, with an enormous bed covered in what likely were very expensive sheets, a leather chair in one corner with a small side table, books lining two walls floor to ceiling and a long built in wardrobe, with mirrors along one side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben continued to gently pull her along until they were standing next to the bed. He paused for a moment, seeming to take a deep breath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Take off your shirt."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh shit, here we go. Rey could feel her heart start to beat. There was something in his tone of command though that spoke to her, and she began to unbutton her blouse, fumbling slightly with the small pearl buttons until it hung open, revealing the pink lace bralette beneath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"All the way."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shrugging her shoulders, she let it slip off down to the floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What next?" she asked nervously.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"The skirt."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That only took a few seconds, and she was standing there before him, in the sweet matching bra and thong set she'd bought during the week. She couldn't look him in the eye, but could feel his gaze roaming over her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You're very beautiful." he breathed, stepping just a little closer until she could feel the heat of him only inches away. She willed herself not to follow her instinct and step back or run and hide.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Now take off the bra."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>......................................................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christ. As soon as he saw the outline of her nipples through the shirt he'd been reminded of a Sunday morning when he'd come back from his run, and she'd been running too. It was July and the apartment was warm, even with the air conditioner cranking, so she'd stripped down to her sports bra and shorts to make breakfast. He tried not to look, but he couldn't stop himself stealing a glance at the perfect pink nipples pressed tightly against the nearly see-through old bra. He'd been a gentleman, not mentioned it, and tried never to think about it again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now here he was, a year later, and Ben could almost feel her raw nerves as she stood there. She was trembling as she reached behind to unhook her underwear and let the bralette fall to the floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was perfect, exactly as he'd imagined that morning a year ago. Sweet, small breasts that would fit exactly into his mouth, nipples that begged to be sucked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christ. Get a grip Solo he told himself and glanced up. She was still starring at the floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Look at me. You're so lovely Rey."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She flicked up her eyes to meet his, still wary.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You're very lovely." he repeated, "Now the rest."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He watched her intently as she hooked her fingers into the sides of the pink panties and gently pulled them down over her long thighs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christ. She was perfect here too. Lean and curvy at once, her soft skin glowing in the low lighting. Ben stepped closer still, drawn towards her. He was already turned on, could feel it in the tightness of his trousers, and it took some effort to stop himself reaching for her. That's No. 2 he told himself firmly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Very good. Let me look at you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She stood still, trying to meet his eyes, as they roamed over her body, taking in every inch of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Turn around, slowly."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey paused, then started to slowly turn until her back was facing him. Another perfect view. Her ass was pert, her skin luminous in the low light.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And back."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She finished her turn and Ben watched the flickers of embarrassment and determination play across her face. He had never ordered a woman to do anything in his life, but remembering the wording from the note, he knew what she needed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Now, sit on the bed."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She did, eager perhaps to break eye contact, and sat facing him, legs drawn up under her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I want to see you. Show me everything."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What?" she stuttered, meeting his eyes again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Spread your legs. Show me how beautiful you are."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I don't think I...."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Do it. Please."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could see the moment when she decided to comply. She moved her legs, unknowingly arching her back and presenting her breast to him. Then she gently bent her knees and slowly moved them apart until he could see the small patch of dark hair and a glimpse of the pink folds beyond.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"More."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>God. He could feel that rush of blood to his cock as he watched her, parting her pale thighs wider until those inner pink lips parted and he had a glimpse of the small entrance between.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Show me everything."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her eyes flew to his, dark now, and he saw that her nipples were tight and cresting on her breasts. Whether she acknowledged it or not, this was turning her on, so he continued.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"With your fingers. I want to see."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He watched her catch her lip between her teeth, and slowly move her hands, running them lightly along the planes of her stomach and between her thighs. She hesitated one last time before carefully touching herself, and using her fingers, parting the lower lips to show him her beautiful cunt. She was breathing heavily now, her fingers twitching, but she waited, showing him everything.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They were both silent for a moment, both listening to the breathing of the other one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Good. Now undress me."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She slowly rose to her knees on the edge of the bed, and Ben inched closer until he was in reach.</p>
<p>...................................................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was huge, standing in front of her as she knelt. Had he always been this big? She could feel her hands gently shaking as she reached up to start on the buttons, struggling a little as she made her way slowly down the front of his shirt. Rey couldn't meet his gaze - it had been too intense earlier as they stared at each other and she needed a mental break from the intimacy. She finished and then had to reach up to slowly pull the shirt off his broad frame. As she lent forward, her nipples made contact with his chest and it felt like an electric shock from her breast to her groin. Ben must have felt something too, she looked down to his hands that were now fisted, as if he were trying not to touch her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And the rest." Ben ordered, his voice tight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey reached down to unbuckle his belt and then unzip his trousers. They were tailored so she had to tug lightly on them to free them from his hips and the bulge in his undershorts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She took another deep breath as she thought about seeing him undressed. Maybe a few times over the last year she'd idly wondered what Ben Solo would look like naked. Once when he'd come out of the shower into the kitchen with just towel slung low around his hips. She'd only caught a glimpse of him from the living room, but it had been enough to feature in an x-rated dream she'd had that night. And on one other occasion when he'd been out rowing on the Charles river and had come back in his sports kit, every inch of it clinging to his sweaty body. Then, like before, she'd had the best dreams that night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But mostly he'd just been her room mate and landlord, a compellingly handsome enigma who paid her and Finn little attention as he went about his 'captain of industry and man about town' routine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She'd obviously paused too long, and Ben pushed the trousers down the remainder of the way, stepping out of them and throwing off his socks too until he stood in front of her just in his black boxer briefs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His hands were still in fists, clenching and unclenching a little as he waited.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Now or never.' thought Rey as she placed her hands on the waistband of his briefs and slowly pulled down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but it wasn't what happened next. As she pulled down the briefs, she realized a few things. Firstly, he was turned on by what they were doing, which honestly surprised her. It had been a fear running through her head that she would be so undesirable (as her ex had told her a few times) that they'd spend most of the evening trying to get him hard. That definitely wasn't going to be a problem - he was already swollen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Secondly, cocks must come in very different shapes and sizes, because this monster was nothing at all like her ex's. This cock was simply huge and rather beautiful.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey pushed back until she was sitting on the bed, trying to get a hold of her body's reaction. She felt on fire, turned on and a little bit scared too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben must have noticed the look on her face. He unclenched a fist and reached forward to stroke her cheek lightly. She met his gaze for the first time in a few minutes and he looked turned on and confused in equal measure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Everything ok?" he asked quietly</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yes. Of course." Rey muttered, looking away</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You sure?" he asked again. "You promised to tell me if you're worried about something"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She took a deep breath. A promise was a promise</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ok. Well. I...."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He waited while she searched for the right words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So. Your.....penis..... is a bit bigger than I'm used to."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ok." He seemed confused. "Is that a problem?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I guess not. Only, I thought you should know. In case things don't work."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It will work." Ben seemed convinced.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"If it doesn't, then we can..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben cut her off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I've lived with this penis all my life, and I know exactly what to do to make sure you're really ready and you really enjoy yourself. Shall we continue?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was smiling wickedly now, nodding at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was fine for him to smile, Rey thought, he wouldn't be trying to take that cock....but there was no going back now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ok. Yes." She nodded, not meeting his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Time for No. 2" he said, and he grasped her by the hips and pulled her forward into his embrace.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Number 2, Number 3 and Number 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things heat up.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Turn over."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey pushed herself over until she lay on her stomach and took a shuddering breath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Relax. I'm just going to touch you, nothing more."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She felt him leaning over him, the warmth of his body inches from hers, and then both of his hands touched her hair, slowly playing with the loose curls, down to her neck and then starting again. It was strangely relaxing, and she let out another, more tranquil sigh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"That's good." he murmured, stroking her again and again until he moved down to her shoulders, using more pressure now to dig in gently into the knots that she could feel caught in her muscles. His hands kept moving, stroking, touching, pressing until she could feel the rough touch of his fingers on the sides of her breasts, so lightly that it made her shiver.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he reached her waist, he paused for a moment, and then she felt him splaying out his fingers, until they spanned the whole of her back, the tips reaching just round to her front. He lifted her then, just a touch, and she drew in her breath sharply at the shock. She felt like a doll in his arms, and he held her up, lifting her again until his fingers could dig lightly into her, his fingers outlining the bones of her hips. Was he going to fuck her like this?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He lowered her back to the bed and moved his hands to her ass. He took his time now, slowly stroking her flesh, his fingers moving closer and closer to place between her thighs with each stroke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Would he be able to tell that she was turned on? The more he touched her, she could feel herself responding, tingling, her body readying itself in a way it had never done with her ex. It was if her body was separate to her mind, and even if her mind was still coming to terms with her feelings, her body knew exactly what to do when Ben Solo touched her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stopped again, and she felt his warm breath on her back as he let our a shuddering pant. His hands continued down, one on each of her legs, roughly stroking her thighs, the pressure alternating soft and harder, the tips of his fingers lightly running along the inside of her legs. And then down her calves to her ankles and back up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He spent another minute on her legs and then his touch return to her ass, kneading again slowly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You're tempting me Rey. I want to touch you here" he said, his fingers slowly slipping down the crease in her ass. "I want you to be wet for me. I think you are..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His fingers dipped and she shuddered as he finally touched her there, between her legs, so lightly that she barely felt it, just enough to part her lower lips, just slightly. His fingers paused, then pushed just the tiny amount forward, then retreated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ah, yes. You're lovely here too." His fingers returned to her waist, and she felt a tiny touch of dampness as he trailed along her skin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Without warning, he held her hips again, flipping her over until she lay facing him. Rey instinctively shut her eyes, before forcing herself to open them again. Ben was watching her intently, his gaze roaming over her face, then down her body, and back. His hands were still gripping her, the fingers leaving a pale red mark where they held her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She could feel the heat from his body so close to hers, but couldn't let herself look, to take in her fill of him like she wanted to. It was all too intimate, too much to be so close to someone after all this time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"We'll have to work on that." he said, giving her a smouldering smile, reading her mind. "I'm enjoying looking at you, touching you, very much. And I'd like for you to enjoy exploring me too. But for now, I think I'll just carry on getting to know every inch of the lovely Rey."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He moved his hands straight to her breasts, touching, caressing, until he gently held her nipples between his fingers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You'll have to tell me what you like. How you want to be touched." He stroked her lightly. "Like this, so you can barely feel it..." he changed pressure, until he saw her jerk upwards "or like this, right on the edge..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben moved his hands down, down, across the planes of her stomach, slowing as he reached the top of her mound. He changed position, kneeling over her, with his legs either side of her body. Rey could see his cock suddenly, and quickly looked away again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Too much for now?" he smiled again. "Not too much for me though. I think you're ready for No. 3"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.......................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He hadn't expected this - not having to use this amount of self control. Touching her, holding her, slowly exploring every piece of her. It was heating his blood and he had a pulse in both his head and dick simultaneously, both of which were urging him to fuck her, to open up those pale thighs, with their lightly corded muscles, and sink himself deep inside. Watch her eyes as he took her, watch her face change as he made her come.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instead he was slowly, so slowly, discovering her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He let himself touch her now in earnest, go back to that place between her thighs where he'd found her so hot and wet earlier. Ben ran his hands back up her legs, stroking as he went, and then grabbed a pillow from the side of the bed and placed it under her hips. This is how he wanted her. Raised up, presented to him like a lovely gift.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I can't wait to taste you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then he did, tasting her, licking her, finding the exact spot that made her breath catch and her thighs tighten. He was patient, slow, circling her clit with his tongue, nuzzling into her again and again until he could feel the tremble in her grow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a few minutes, she moaned, he could almost feel her resistance, fighting the pleasure she felt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It made him want to take his time, to be even more patient. It took many minutes until the tiny sounds she made, the high pitched gasps, became almost desperate, but it was worth the wait.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When her hands flew to his hair, pulling the strands as if she were urging him on, he knew she was close. He kept going, licking her now in long strokes that explored all of her until finally he felt her cum, like a shocking wave, that made her hips raise and her whole body quiver.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was magical to watch her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was panting now, each lift of her chest raising her pretty breasts towards him. Her face was flushed, her expression dazed, her perfect mouth open.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben kissed her then, putting his mouth to hers for the first time, so they could both experience the taste of her on his lips. She was hesitant, shaky, but her eyes slowly closed and she lent up from the bed on her elbows a little to more easily meet him. He rocked into her, his tongue meeting hers, and then his hands moved to pull her fully upright so he could work against her mouth, sliding his tongue in and out, holding her hair in his hands, moving her just to get the perfect access.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Like everything else about her, it was intoxicating, the feel of her lips, her tongue, her wet mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He reluctantly stopped, pulling away and lay back on the bed. His cock was hard, painfully so, to the point where he needed to take it in hand and pump it gently as he lay there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey was propped up next to him, leaning towards him on one elbow, watching him intently as he slowly moved his hand back and forth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Can I touch you now?" she asked, her eyes soft, her hair damp against her flushed cheek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It took him a moment to nod. He was suddenly struck with how strange it was that this beautiful creature had been living in his apartment for the last year, and he had somehow managed to keep his hands off her. Looking like she did, in his bed, Rey was every fantasy he'd ever had.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She crawled over until she was kneeling next to him, her delicate breasts peaking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Is this number four?" Ben asked, reminding himself of the list. He strained further as he thought of the words.... " GIVE HIM AN ORGASM WITH MY MOUTH. LET HIM COME IN MY MOUTH AND I WILL ENJOY IT."...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey nodded, moving towards him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Can I touch you?" she asked, her voice soft in the quiet, and he pulled one of her hands towards him, placing it on his chest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yes, anywhere you want Rey."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>....................................................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was intimidating at first, the pressure to pleasure him, so instead Rey touched him lightly, letting her fingers roam over the pale skin of his broad chest. He was hot to the touch, and she took her time, exploring him just like he done to her, until she moved down to the hard plane of his stomach, and that dark trail of hair that led to his cock.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She'd noticed it earlier, and for whatever reason, it made her clench inside. She indulged herself, letting her fingers stoke him, watching his cock twitch as she did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Memories of previous encounters with her ex were bubbling up, how he had never wanted to be touched, had never wanted to touch her, how it had always been a dark, embarrassing fumble, followed by a painful thrusting and a frustrated post coital complaint- she was always too dry, too cold, too still, too boring. By the end of the relationship, she wondered if she was one of those people who just didn't enjoy sex.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But here, now, she did. Ben's body was thrilling, if a little intimidating.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before she lost her courage, she moved her hand down, finding his, and he released his cock to let her take it in hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she clasped him, he moaned, and the sound of his desire gave her courage to stroke him slowly, unsure of what pressure to use, or how far to move her hand. It didn't seem to matter, he made sounds of encouragement as she explored, and she could feel his thickness in her hands expanding as she grew more confident in her movements.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Edging a little closer, she looked up to catch his eye, opening her mouth in silent request, and he nodded in reply, his breath hitching in his chest. It was enough reassurance for her to bend down and take his swollen cock into her mouth, opening her lips wide and pulling him inside her mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben seemed to like that, his hands moved to stroke her hair back from her face so he could watch her, his fingers stroking along her jaw before one hand rested under her chin, the other gathering her locks and pulling them into his fist tightly behind her neck. It was a possessive hold, almost dominant, and for some reason that turned her on even more. She lent even further to take more of him into her mouth, enough to feel full and gasping, and used her tongue to stroke him. She wasn't sure what else he would like, and every time she tried to take more into her mouth her reflex stopped her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben pulled on her hair just enough for her to understand he wanted her to look at him, so she released him a little to look up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His eyes were dark, pupils wide, watching her intently. He was breathing deeply.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>" You're doing so well but what you want to do is going to take some practise. For now, just hold me in your mouth and use your hands, that feels wonderful. I'm going to cum soon, so I'll tap your jaw when you need to pull back."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He let go of her hair and covered her hand in his, showing her how to touch him, stroking up and down, fingers stopping when they reached her lips. He pulled her other hand down too, and placed it at the base of his length, mumbling at her to clutch him tight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey worked him, both her small hands caressing and squeezing his cock, until she found the rhythm he seemed to like best and she could feel him growing in her mouth. It was turning her on, knowing that she was giving him pleasure, listening to the sounds he made, and when he started tapping her jaw she gently shook her head. She wanted to feel him cum, to take his seed in her mouth and know what that was like.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He tried one last time to move her, his fingers pressing into cheek, and then he was pulsing in her mouth, filling her with a strange taste, his whole body bowed tight next to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he stopped quivering, Rey opened her mouth to let his cock slip free, feeling full of his essence which she swallowed, gulping him down. His eyes were closed tight and she sat back on her knees to better look at him unobserved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He'd always been big, a definite presence in their apartment, in his designer suits and black jeans and low slung pyjamas. She had no idea why she hadn't wondered what he would look like under those clothes, so it was a revelation that beneath that outer covering was a veritable man-god, long-limbed, muscled, in perfect condition, with a huge cock to match.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was another revelation that just looking at him turned her on, and from the moment she'd taken his cock in her mouth, she could feel herself getting damp and desperate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I guess this answers your question about whether you're a-sexual Rey", she muttered to herself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben must have heard her say something, because his eyes opened to find her staring at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He immediately sat up, and then unexpectedly pulled her into his arms, lying back again so that she was sprawled across his chest, her naked body pressed to his.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They lay there quietly for a few minutes before he spoke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Was that the first time you've ever done that?" he asked, his fingers sliding along her backbone until they reached the globes of her ass where they stopped to caress her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yep."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pulled her up a little further, until her lips were near his .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Well, thank you. That was quite something." he began kissing her, his tongue immediately moving into her mouth where his cock had been, his lips hard against her. It was not like the easy kissing of earlier, and Rey wondered if he intending to move straight to Number 5.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He must have read her mind, because he pulled away and gently lifted her off his chest until she lay next to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Number 5 can wait. We need to eat. I'll shower first."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>and with that, she watching him pad across the room into his bathroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>...............................................................................................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben started cooking when he heard Rey taking a shower, She'd gone back to her room, and it felt immediately wrong that she was back in her own space. He had become oddly used to her being in his domain, in his room, in his bed, always nearby so he could pull her towards him at any moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He reminded himself of their no strings attached arrangement and he clamped down on his emotions, making his brain concentrate on chopping the onion in front of him rather than wonder about the woman he was about to fuck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After the onion, he pulled a few mushrooms from the fridge, garlic, fresh Parmesan and arborio rice and started the process of making risotto. Rey seemed to be mostly vegetarian, so he was hopeful this would be something she'd eat. He'd also poured a glass of wine for both of them, and turned on some music for company.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The meal was mostly cooked when she emerged, wearing old joggers, a threadbare t shirt that hung off her shoulders and no bra if her pointed nipples peaking through the material were any indication.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked away hastily, ignoring the immediate pull in his groin at the sight of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I've made us some food. Hope you like it." he said, offering her the glass of red as she approached.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm sure I will. Thank you. I'm a terrible cook so anything that's not pasta and red sauce is going to taste amazing."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She took a seat at the table and immediately began devouring the food. She caught him staring at the speed with which she ate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Unfortunate by-product of growing up in the foster system." she explained, forking more food into her mouth. "The food was always terrible, so I learnt early on to eat as much as I could of anything halfway decent."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She caught the raise of his eyebrows at the unintended insult.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And this is beyond decent. It's really delicious. Thank you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She kept eating until her plate was empty: Ben watched her with pleasure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Do you mind talking about your life?" he asked when she was done. It felt wrong to be so intimate and to know so little about her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey drew in a breath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I guess not. I seem to remember talking was one of the conditions you made for doing me this favour."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She stood up, taking her plate with her and started on the washing up. With her back to him she said "Ask away."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben wondered for a moment where to start, how to have her open up to him without scaring her away. He used her previous comment as an opening.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So, the foster system. That sounds tough."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yep. Pretty shitty generally. But there were some good people along the way and I made it here, got a scholarship to MIT and now I have my own research department, so it wasn't all bad."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was so much unsaid in those few short lines. He though about asking more, but her shoulders were tense as if bracing for the next question.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was surprised then when she turned around to face him, sponge in hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Conversation goes two ways I suppose. What's your story?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He wasn't often asked him about himself. It was one of the reasons he cultivated the gruff exterior, to keep people at arms length. But fair's fair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Conventional. For the most part. Two parents, with a messy marriage. Some mixed up teenage stuff. Dropped out of college mid way through, then went back. Couple of false starts then found my calling - buying businesses for a living."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey smiled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I often wondered what you did - Finn just said 'corporate greed'."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It made Ben smile too, although the remark was close to home. During his long runs he often wondered about making a different life for himself, doing something more fulfilling than just making money.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"My turn again." he said, watching her closely, and was careful to pick a neutral subject "How did you and Finn meet?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Too easy." her smile widened, "I was expecting something tougher. We met the first day of grad school. I had just come on a flight from the UK, first time on a plane, totally clueless. He was standing outside the halls of residence, looking as lost as I felt. I offered to help him with his bags, if he showed me around. We bonded over our shared love of Fortnight and ice cream."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben imagined her for a moment, a younger Rey, finding her way in the big city. The thought entered his mind that he wished he'd known her then.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So you and Finn. He's not the guy you are trying to get over right?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That made Rey laugh out loud. She turned back to the sink and started drying the dishes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Absolutely not. We've always been just friends. The thought makes me a little queasy if I'm honest." She finished with the last plate and moved to sit with him at the table.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"My ex is someone else entirely."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She said it with absolute finality, and Ben took the hint that she wasn't ready or willing to talk about him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked out to the living room and the large windows beyond. It had been dark for a while, and Rey's face was in shadow. She looked exhausted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey cleared her throat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So, it's getting late. Time for Number 5?" she asked. She had her arms clasped around herself, and she looked a little nervous.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben noticed that her fingers were clenching and un-clenching as she spoke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stood up, and held out his hand. She hesitated for a second, and then took it, letting him pull her to standing until she was facing him, her eyes not meeting his.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pulled her forward that last inch or so, until she was close to him and he could feel her warmth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben lent in to give her a gentle kiss on the cheek before letting her hand go.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Sleep well Rey. Come find me in the morning."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And with that, he left.</p>
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